I mostly play dums and jingles on my riq.

Keep those Africans away from your local health food stores. On sale at my local one: organic shea butter, 4 oz for $24. You can buy real Kona coffee for less.

And it helps to have longer fingernails when doing those snaps. Not to mention a good, well tuned doumbek.

Ditto here. It's a hard learned lesson. I just stop drumming sometimes and ask myself why it is that I am working so hard to be heard? If its that much work, it isn't fun anymore.

"BTW, what would happen if your finger was cut and you tried to play the d'jembe? Would it start sucking the blood from that wound? That thought will keep me awake all night now! "

Well, you see, it's like this. West African djembes have natural heads (usually goatskin or antelope skin). Traditional derbekkes have either fish-skin or goatskin heads. Latin American drums (like congas or bongos) have natural skin heads (usually cow hide). When you play these instruments vigorously, the natural skins like to absorb the natural oils and moisture from your hands (not necessarily blood). Drummers (as well as artist's`, ceramists, and bakers) know to keep their hands moisturized so their hands won't crack. Working out in the cold all day long and in very dry climates can also hurt your hands (and feet).

If you should already have an injury (like a split in your finger) constant playing will aggravate the wound and it will open up and start bleeding (from the activity more than the natural head) and it is best to keep the wound tightly covered.

I keep forgetting that there are so many new drummers that have only played on plastic heads.

"BTW, what would happen if your finger was cut and you tried to play the d'jembe? Would it start sucking the blood from that wound? That thought will keep me awake all night now!"

An authentic djembe is made out of wood and skin, gifts from two forms of life that provided the material. Many drummers honor their drum by remembering the sacrifice that made their drum possible. Some drummers take it a step further. Haven't you wondered about those drummers who played twice as fast, twice as loud, twice as musically as everyone else? What magic made this possible? It's because they "feed" their drum by giving blood to it, which the living materials absorb. These drums are alive with the spirit of the goat and the spirit of the tree, and they infuse the player with ageless knowledge of rhythm and technique that make these masters better than all others. Or not. :)

Oh and on the cowbell, there's a way to play them so they fit in, listen e.g., to the agogo bell in Jamal Mohammed's "Amazing Grace", on his Beledi CD. The rhythm thereof is an afro-cuban pattern called Bembi.

"I think that if a few of the best drummers would get together and nominate a facillitator for structured drum jams, they wouldn't suck so bad. But most people would rather bitch and moan than take the responsibility and do something. And when someone steps up into the vacuum, maybe the other drummers would show up and support her or him, instead of "hammering down the nail that sticks up", or just ignoring them. "

It's obvious that you have outgrown drum jams and you just don't know it yet. Once you realize that you have outgrown drum jams, you can occasionally go back to them and enjoy them for a bit (so long as you don't try to make music). They exist for average folks and absolute beginners to get together and try to create a rhythm as a group. Just like a sing-a-long or when the congregation sings hymns at church (it's not exactly a professional choir).
The drum jams don't have to "grow-up" to meet your level, they can't. They are already serving their purpose and you are about to realize that you don't fit anymore. (sometimes it takes a while). It took me a while to realize it and after a while I realized that I was like the big kid hanging around the old elementary school trying to play on the swings. It's time to move on. You can always go back, but when you do, you go as a featured performer or a facilitator or you just go and help them hold that simple 4/4 "Shaman" beat.